Woman Seeks Pipe Wrench

My bathroom sink has been clogged for the past few weeks. But I don't want to use a drain cleaner because it doesn't work all that well and can damage the pipes. This morning I unscrew that little round thingy that seals the sink and start fishing around in there with a modified coat hanger tool. I was pulling out God knows what. I mean really, it is freakin' disgusting. After all that, the sink still doesn't drain all that well. But by this time I had screwed that little round thingy back down. I guess I must have screwed it too far down because the stopper is stuck in the tightly sealed position and I can't pry it up. Crap!

So I decide that what I really need to do is just remove the entire stopper. That way I'll unstick the stopper and I can really clear the clog. I go on-line to Natural Handyman.com and learn that I need to unscrew the pivot joint and remove the ball and rod. *snickers* So fine, easy right. I unscrew the pivot joint and remove ball and rod and the stopper pops right out. whoohoo! I clear the clog, clean off the stopper and drop it back into the hole. And it immediately gets stuck in the tightly sealed position. So I pop it back out, unscrew the thingy that seals the sink and drop the rest of the stopper into the hole. Buh Bye.

I thought it would fall into place and I could adjust the ball and rod. However since I had not replaced the ball and rod and had taken off the thingy that seals the sink there was nothing to prevent the rest of the stopper from falling all the way down the pipe. FUCK! Fuck! Fuck!

So now I need a pipe wrench to remove the drain trap to get the stopper out. So perhaps Natural Handyman.com could have included a little tidbit in the helpful hints about replacing the ball and rod before dropping the stopper in. Obvious? Perhaps, now that I think about it.

-Chel

Home again, home again

While my car is in the shop I have a rental. I guess this means that I should stop tearing around the city in my usual manic fashion. They always scare me with that, "initial here to assume total liability for the vehicle." I have full coverage, good insurance... I think.
-Chel

Lost

I discovered this morning that I've lost one of my giant fake diamond earrings. Damn! Those things cost me at least a twenty. Mmm hmm very classy.
-Chel

Nothing to say

Dear Dolly,
How many times have I started this entry? I've lost count. I have something to say and yet I have nothing to say. Anything that I want to say sounds full of self pity. I really want to talk about how much I hate being single again. And I do. But then I think it must be my fault. There is something that I'm not seeing. Something that I'm not learning. Some reason this part of my life just doesn't work. I feel like such a failure.

My cousin's baby died. The funeral was last week. I've been sitting here staring at this blank card trying to find the words to express how sad I am for them. And nothing is coming out. I mean there are no words to say how fucked up it is to lose your six month old son. I worry about them too as a couple. Will they be able to survive this heartbreak?

I'm tired tonight. My soul is weary.
-Chel

You're in my head

Dolly,
The Boy gave me shit about reading Kev's blog. BHA HA HA HA! You've been fucking That Whore and you are going to give me shit for reading a blog. BHA HA HA HA!

Speaking of The Whore. Now that I've excised her from my waking life she's been in my dreams. Yesterday morning and this morning I woke up from dreams that involved her. I know it's my brain's way of working out stuff that I can't/won't deal with while I'm awake but give me a fucking break here. I need some peace. Peter says I should meditate and do this exercise where I send her a beam of white light from my heart. FUCK THAT! He's talking about forgiveness. I'm not ready to forgive her or him. I want to wallow in bitterness and be angry.

Have a great day!
-Chel

Short but sweet

Chel,
I saw you called yesterday, but you didn't leave a message. I have a ton of work to do before sleep tonight. Frankly, sleep would be nice right now! Mr. H. thinks it is time for me to do something about my stress level. You know what he thinks I should do. If I make it past February I should be fine. It's really bad right now because I am meeting with all 9 of them about 3 times a week and then my course load is heavy on T days. I found out today our IT boxes won't be ready until next week which means blocking will be hell this week! I was not happy. We didn't have a tourney this weekend..but I worked with the kids on Saturday again. Yesterday I relaxed a bit. I met Mr. H's man. It was a very sudden encounter. He is really cute and nice. After 5 months, it was time. I had images of the asshole, but tried to block them out. Strange how I have to tell myself that he is not the asshole. I better get back to work. Why did the boy make you angry yesterday? and bourbon? chel! and cigs?!!! ewhhh....love ya! me:)

this week will be better

Dolly,
I had a tiny meltdown in the shower on Sunday morning, but I sucked it up and went for a lap at Lake Hollywood. Upon return I medicated myself with bourbon and cigarettes. Then I went and looked at a couple of houses that are for sale in my neighborhood. I can't afford either of them. After which I talked to The Boy who royally pissed me off and I felt much better.

How was your weekend? How'd the kids do?
Love, Chel

work sucks

I was an hour late to work this morning. I overslept, then I decided to straighten my hair and when I finally left the apartment traffic sucked! Now I've been at work for an hour and have eaten oatmeal, made tea, talked to co-worker about his new phone, checked my email, read blogs and calculated that I have 7,800 days left until retirement. It's turning out to be a real steller day for me.
-Chel

and then there were three

Hey D,
Glad to have a post from you! Sounds like you are so busy. Work sucks. Jeff went off today. He wants to go to the Board about our acting director. Two things. It could be a very bad move for Jeff basically end his career here. However it could be a very good thing for me because I've been trying to figure out a way to go the Board myself without damaging my career. We'll see.

Another fish died tonight. The potbelly guppie. He'd been sick off and on but until tonight, he'd been doing better. I came home and he didn't look so good. I put his medicine in the water but I knew he wasn't going to make it. And then I started crying. I hate it when one of the fish dies. I find it very disturbing.

When The Boy wanted to get an aquarium I was against. It's not that I don't like fish. I do. I think they are beautiful creatures. I just like to see them in their natural habitat. Also I knew I'd be the one to end up with the freakin' tank. Hello, The Boy hasn't lived here in over a year but his fish still do.

The guppie was the last fish left from The Boy's mother's aquarium. We inherited him. He was a funny fat little fish. God bless the guy from Oranda Aquarium who never batted an eye when I'd tell him my guppie was sick, ask advice and buy medicine.

I called The Boy tonight and told him to come pick up his aquarium. He needs to be responsible for his fish.

I'm going to bed now. I have an early day tomorrow. We have a rah, rah meeting at 8:30. Bleck!
-Chel

Out of the LOOP!

Dear Chel,
So it seems like all I can do lately is check the site to see what you have said, not to write you a note! But after seeing all your comments from N and DD, I am ashamed of myself! Especially, when DD has an infant and can still post great stuff! But since I have nine kids I call my own, it is difficult to get everything done since the semester started last week. I have a stack of stuff to do and it is already past my bedtime. I taught 5 classes today and had IT rehearsal after the last one of the day. Zapped and drained!

Early Saturday morning around 2:45 a.m., my phone rang. It startled me! I looked to see the number and it was Mr. H. I didn't get to it in time, but called him right back. He was hysterical...seems he has a friend in the house and it's not one of his latest boy toys! or a mouse, but a RAT! I told him to grab his stuff and come over. So he arrived with eyes wide and hair sticking straight up in the air! My leisure Saturday turned into "helping Mr. H" with his large problem. So traps were set and he avoided staying at his house. I checked them out on Sunday and found nothing attached to the sticky trap. I mean really, what if the thing would have been on the sticky trap? Did he really think I would dispose of the creature!?!!?! Get real! It's me, Dolly! I am afraid of lizards! But at least I ACTED brave and calm under the circumstances. It made him feel better. So last night we left the friend 2 peanut butter pretzels in 2 locations (next to the traps)...today...no pretzels and clear traps! He is obviously smart. Oh, we went to the Humane Society to find him a cat. Mango. That's the cat he picked out for future security against the creatures. Hopefully, he will get him once the rat is gone. He is so beautiful Chel...3 years old, owner died, and is white with orange spots. He has been there for almost a year! The place made me sooooo sad. I wanted to take them all home with me...but Elsie wouldn't have been happy to say the least. Tonight, Mr. H. is on his own. Although he found a human friend to comfort him through the night while waiting for his other new friend to come out to play.

Yesterday, we drove into Austin to go to Crate and Barrel for fun! It was cool. We ate at this neat and yummy mexican dive...Curras, off of Oltorf. Then we saw Hotel Rwanda back in SA with another friend. It was such a disturbing film. I'm not sure it was a "good fit" for the end of my day. It should be nominated for an academy.

So much else to say, but time is running thin now. I am meeting a new team member in the morning and must prepare for the other 7 appointments I have scheduled! I am floundering under the workload at this point. But they are great students and that makes a difference. Hope this caught you up to some degree and I sure hope I get some responses! Take care. love ya, me:)

and the winner is...

"Dude, you're really funny today."

Thank you, Thank you. WAIT! Does that mean I'm not funny everyday? Or that I'm just not really funny?

*sigh*
-Chel

I think his name is Al

Dolly,
Yesterday Jess and I went to the Apple Pan and had hickory cheeseburgers. So good! The Apple Pan is this tiny burger joint with only counter seating. The counter guy has been there for years and I think his name is Al. The burger comes with this huge glob of mayo on one side and on the other the hickory BBQ sauce. It's mouthwatering and messy. Everytime my hand was still Al was there slapping another napkin in my palm. YUM!

After the Apple Pan we saw Sideways. Have you seen it? These two guys go wine tasting in Santa Barbara County, Solvang and Buellton. Some of the wineries had these made up names but you would totally be able to tell which ones they are. At one point they open a bottle of Andrew Murray. Remember Andrew Murray - pompass ass! Did you buy anything there? It's a funny movie, made even funnier because we've been there so many times. Go see it.

Alright, I'm off to the farmer's market.
Late. Chel

Close to Home

Dolly,
Today I went to the Getty and saw an exhibit called Close to Home. It ROCKED! http://www.getty.edu/art/exhibitions/close_to_home/

-Chel

D,
I went to the gym tonight and I have to give a shout out to some sisters. First of all to the woman with the cankels - leggings with those bad 80's low heeled pumps, not a good look. To the two women ahead of me on the machines shut up, just shut the fuck up. I come to the gym to work out not listen to your whole life's story. Oh, and if you are sick you should just stay home. Don't cough and then touch the machines. To the lesbian checking out the hotties doing their pelvic thrusts, pick your jaw up, close your mouth and step away from the girls. And finally to girlfriend gettin' her groove on to the latin music - YOU GO GIRL!

When I walked into the gym I was down. Didn't really want to be there. Was thinking about The Boy. He is so in my head and my heart. But the gym helped.

I am looking forward to the weekend. I haven't been able to focus at work. And I have a crapload of stuff due. I'll probably work at home this weekend. I thought about going away to SB but I don't think I'm ready yet. Sometimes it's more upsetting for me to be away from home. Instead I want to go to the Getty. There is an exhibition I want to see. And just do some girl stuff.
-Chel

It will be ok

Chel,
I now understand our conversation last night. I knew something was going on. I am not going to pressure you. You know you can call me whenever you are ready. I am here.

I am proud of you for many reasons. I am really proud of how you took today off from work and took care of yourself. Good for you! Just remember what I told you about Pumsy.

Don't forget...I'm here.

Love you much,
Dolly

I am not ok.

I didn't go to work today. I haven't spoken to one single person. I just couldn't manage it. I couldn't go to work and smile pretending that everything was fine, that I am fine. I know that I did the right thing and that in the long run I'll be ok. But that doesn't make right now any easier.

I ended my relationship with The Boy.
-Chel

Still raining

Dolly,
It is still raining. My apartment has more leaks than a cheese cloth. I will certainly check out the vlog. It sounds interesting. I've been over reality tv since it started. :)

Why is it the hot scruffy guys only eye me when I look like ass warmed over. Today at Trader Joes I'm doin' a little grocery shopping in my jeans and a t-shirt, my hair pulled back, no makeup and a mustache most teen boys would be jealous of and two hotties are checking me out. Why? I ask. I hadn't even showered. I didn't even have panties on. Maybe that's it. They could tell I didn't have panties on and were stangely drawn to me. It's so crazy!

Well I sent The Boy an email today telling him how I felt. That I was tired of the lies, the games and the extra girl. I don't expect him to respond. He never does. He just pretends like nothing happened, like I didn't say anything.

Well I'm out for now. Later.
-Chel

I've had enough reality

Dear Chel,
So I think I am officially over reality television! I was flipping channels and found a new reality show called "The Will" on CBS. Ok...so it is really stupid! And so fake! It is full of blonde women who have had boob jobs! I guess that is suppose to be the "hook"!

I want you to check out Steve Garfield's blog and video blogs. I did some research on vlogging for the RT and ran across this guy. He believes we should have a VSPAN-citizen journalism. His Mom is the oldest blogger at 79. She is too funny! He has a video blog of two women getting married at an aquarium. Then he has a vlog of breakfast with his wife called the Carol and Steve Show. It's really cool....remember when Mr. H. told us to watch the ABC report..the one where it featured the youngest blogger?..well, that's the topic..video blogging.

We had a 4n6 meeting today. I worked at the school from 10-6..too long for a Saturday! Eliza called this morning and we talked for a long time. She is doing good. Her sister in Austin is getting a divorce. The kids are going to live with their dad.

Well, the Jets are playing and it's time I veg on the couch for a bit before doing some work. Hope you had a great day! Did it stop raining? OH, Santa is off the roof. And trunkman is 41 years old!?!?! Did he seem that age to you? I was shocked! Bye.

p.s. loved the Dear Dolly...

Dolly

Dear Dolly

Hey D-
I’m sitting in my living room watching the clouds move across the sky. It has stopped raining. It rained all last night. And I hear there is another storm coming. I’m going over to Jess’ for brunch and we are going shopping. She needs some stuff and I said I’d go along for the ride.

Last night I was so exhausted I swear I fell asleep at 8:30pm. This has been a busy week. I awoke this morning from the strangest dream. I was in the car with my family on IH35 in Austin just before the upper and lower split when this car in front of us just comes flying, spiraling towards us and lands on top of our car. Then there's a huge dogpile and all these other cars crash into us. Very odd. We were all fine. Car was squished.

It looks like traffic has started to pick up out on the street. And it’s raining again. People are starting to wake up and go about their day. I’m going to go about mine too.
-Chel

Just rain

It's raining here. I'm watching it from my window at the office. I can see it coming down in front of the trees. It is beautiful.

One of the things I miss the most about Texas are the thunderstorms. I miss the way the storm rolls towards you across that huge sky, turning it yellow and black, the lightening cracking on the horizon and the charge of electricity in the thick heavy air, the smell of rain that you can taste on the back of your tongue and the booming heart stopping thunder.

Rain here is a quiet rain. No smell, no charge of electricity, no thunder, no lightening, just a wetness that oozes from a cloudy sky. Just rain.
-Chel

Your Love's a Lie

I'm so tired of The Boy's lies. I just look at him and he lies to me. I'm not even sure if he knows what the truth is anymore. Sometimes I just wish he'd hit me, just beat me, at least then there would be a physical manifestation of the pain and I could fight back. I can't fight the lies. I'm too weak. Each time I want to believe that the lie is the truth. I want to believe that this time it's finally for real. I have hope and hope is a terrible thing. My hope keeps me a prisoner, it keeps me enslaved to this Boy.
-Chel

Cooking

Mood: Sleepy for the morning time
Chel,
Did you write a comment to the attorney blog? I think you did! Gotta run...departmental meeting this morning and then Lisa is getting in at 1:30. The IT is coming along great now. We had our first rehearsal yesterday. I still haven't finished the script though. Have a great day.

dolly

bikini top

So I've just returned from popping out to get a skein of yarn and a J crochet hook for Beginning Crochet tonight.

The class promises...
"You'll be able to complete small items such as a hat, a purse or pouch, or a bikini top..."

One. If I were to complete a bikini top it would be no small undertaking.
Two. A crochet bikini top - kinda like leg warmers, not such a good idea the first time around.
- Chel

I did it!

Chel,
So I just returned from my second walk of the new year. The first was with you! I love walking once I am in the moment, but getting to the moment isn't so hot. Now I need to get to the school and work on my syllabi for the spring semester. drats! I think I am changing things up again.
Oh, as I am returning from my walk I notice "Trunk Man" is getting ready to leave his house...I look HORRIBLE!!! So I zipped in the door and didn't even look over there in hopes he would not see me!

You know I will never remember the "names" we are giving everyone! Lisa (real name) is coming here on Thursday to help me with the script. It is finally coming along. I am starting to like what I am putting together. The process is so difficult at times. We aren't going to the tournament this weekend. I decided it was too quick and we would benefit more from a work weekend at the school.

Oh, Mr. H and I went to see Phantom yesterday. I thought it was great...visually beautiful. The singing was also very beautiful. Acting...ok. Overall: well worth watching. We were headed to see Finding Neverland but it was sold out when we arrived.

I guess I should stop stalling and get ready to go to the school. Much love and have a great day.

dolly

New Year's Resolutions

Mood: starving and v. cold
Dolly,
Hmmm... so what if he does respond? Then what? Will you write again?

I really enjoyed my visit also! It was great to just spend time together.

So if I only called one person at work a jackass today does that mean I've already broken my New Year's resolution to be more positive? And are chicken nachos on the eating right plan?

Inappropriate comment of the day
He: Wow, the last time I saw boots like those they were on a hooker.
Me: Ha! I'll take that as a compliment.
-Chel

Sad now

So I took Chel to the airport on the first day of the new year. We are no longer in the same state so our blog truly becomes letters to each other.

Mood: Tired and frustrated
Chel,
I just finished sending an email to Angel. It was a LONG letter filled with ramblings from my thoughts of the new year. Don't panic...I expect nothing back. I just hope he reads it and is able to appreciate where it comes from..my heart. It was 2001 when we were at Lake Arrowhead. I figured it out after you left and we were there on the first, second, and third. So we must have attended that party a different year.

When I came home from the long train game with Mr. H. it was soooo quiet in the house. It still is! I tried really hard to work on the RT, but it wasn't working for me tonight! So I will get up early and work. I hope I am productive.

I really enjoyed your visit this Christmas. It was nice just going with the flow and doing whatever we wanted to do...whenever! Trying to cram in as much stuff as possible in a few days doesn't work anymore. The value of the time decreases. This vacation felt like we tried to recreate what it was like when we lived in the same place. As I was driving home from the airport crying, I thought about how we took the normal stuff for granted so many years ago. And how great it would be to live in the same city again! MOVE BACK HERE!!! hee hee. Well, it is really late (or early) here and I have to get an early start on work...so off to bed! Love ya, me (Dolly)

happy freakin' new year

11:55 and i have consumed a bottle of champagne. tiny bit sloshed. lots of fireworks going off in the neighborhood. i got my very first tattoo to ring in 2005. cheers! here's hoping that this year brings you love, peace and happiness.

chel