Slacker

Yesterday was my performance evaluation. I had been dreading it because I felt like the year got away from me and its basically been a freakin' disater. Between loosing my mentor when my boss retired and all the craziness over the new building not to mention the drama in my personal life I've felt lost.

However, my new boss didn't see it that way. He said lots of great things and is giving me a bonus. He also mentioned that if I had my masters I would be a great candidate for the position he is vacating - assistant director. He is not the first to tell me this. I've had no less than three people say this to me. Three people I value as leaders in the field.

I am aware that I am not living up to my potential. And at times I feel very under utilized. But I've been content to remain in the background doing enough to maintain but not enough to get noticed. Well I think it's safe to say I've been noticed.

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. And what it boils down to is I'm not doing the things I fear. The things that will make me happy and successful. I see this in my job and in my relationship with The Boy. I'm afraid to go back to school. I'm afraid to let go. And I know that these are the two steps I need to take.
-Chel