Shoes

Is it bad to hide money from your financial planner? He suggested I might want to tighten up my expenses. What not spend as much money per month? Exactly, he says. It was at that point I decided to hide money from him. So I didn't tell him about the sick leave buy out or the management incentive pay or the months where we get paid with the square (we are paid three times instead of two and they don't take deductions from that check). Dude, a girl has a right to shoes.
-Chel

Slacker

Yesterday was my performance evaluation. I had been dreading it because I felt like the year got away from me and its basically been a freakin' disater. Between loosing my mentor when my boss retired and all the craziness over the new building not to mention the drama in my personal life I've felt lost.

However, my new boss didn't see it that way. He said lots of great things and is giving me a bonus. He also mentioned that if I had my masters I would be a great candidate for the position he is vacating - assistant director. He is not the first to tell me this. I've had no less than three people say this to me. Three people I value as leaders in the field.

I am aware that I am not living up to my potential. And at times I feel very under utilized. But I've been content to remain in the background doing enough to maintain but not enough to get noticed. Well I think it's safe to say I've been noticed.

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. And what it boils down to is I'm not doing the things I fear. The things that will make me happy and successful. I see this in my job and in my relationship with The Boy. I'm afraid to go back to school. I'm afraid to let go. And I know that these are the two steps I need to take.
-Chel

I like younger men but...

It has suddenly occured to me that Mr. Nebraska might be significantly younger than me. I just did the math - college, grad school, work history. I could be freakin' Mrs. Robinson! *sheesh* I gotta ask Trixie about this whole younger man thing. I know it's workin' for her.
-Chel

Mr. Nebraska

Well I just got back from my date with Mr. Nebraska. It went well. We had good food, good wine, good conversation and then we kissed until my lips felt numb. He does this weird tongue thing and I mean weird not in a good way. If there's going to be anymore kissing we gotta do something about that.
-Chel

I'm nervous and a little sweaty.

Oh, and slightly queasy. A perfectly nice boy asked me out. And I feel like throwing up. I don't know if I'm ready. In fact I don't think I'll ever be ready again. I'm still so fucked up over The Boy - how can I inflict my life on someone else?

So I take a few steps back and think "It's just dinner." It doesn't mean anything will come of it. Right, that's why I feel like throwing up.
-Chel

I had a few and I'm ok

Carrots will make your white bits turn orange. I don't know how many carrots you need to eat though.
-Chel

Four Sam Haiku

1.
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

2.
The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.'

3.
In deep sleep, hear sound.
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

4.
Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

Happy Birthday Sam!!

"Lord, I hope this day is good."

Well it's that time of the year again - performance evaluations. I can't tell you how much I am dreading it.

I've felt at a loss since my boss left and my work product really reflects that. Upon reviewing my goals from last year's performance evaluation I realize I've completed none, well okay, one of them. *sigh* I've done other stuff but nothing significant. I feel like I've just maintained. Now I have to answer for myself and come up with some goals for next year. On the brightside goals for next year should be easy since I'll carry over the uncompleted ones from this year.

I'm quite sure my new boss would not find the following "accomplishments" for the year to be a productive use of my time - mastered text twist, created a blog, discovered urban dictionary.com, researched imdb.com, forged contacts with enemy coworkers, figured out the exact time it takes to pop a bag of popcorn without producing a single burned one, get the best deal on my car insurance.

This year I hope to use my time to find a new car.
-Chel