The Farmer takes the cheese

Flowerless chocolate cake with ground almonds verses three wonderful cheeses - a spicy blue, a smoked cheddar and a creamy havarti and fruit. The cheese won. It's my weakness. Life without cheese is no life at all.
-Chel

Freak out

"Just calm down." and "I don't think I've ever seen you like this." Comments from my boss after I told him that this week was going to cause me to have a nervous breakdown.

Today was an absolute freak out. I had five projects going at once, two were due yesterday, two are due on Monday, people are calling me with their absolutely inane requests and then my coworker reminds me she needs the invitation list today to send out invitations for the retirement party.

One project finally got done and passed off for my boss to review, which might I add he left for the day without reviewing. AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!! He does this thing where he gives me a project that we need to do now, now, now so I rush to do it and then it sits on his freakin' desk for a week before he looks at it. Drives me freakin' insane!

Then at the end of the day my retired boss whom we are planning the retirement party for calls and says she doesn't want a retirement party and we are absolutely unable to convince her otherwise.

I just want to go home and smoke a giant freakin' bowl.

Down on my knees

A very small, very sharp pair of scissors and a very strong chemical called R46 will remove blue nail polish from carpet. I know this because I spent all weekend on my hands and knees, my face inches from the carpet snipping tiny chunks of nail polish out of said carpet. Moving and the threat of not having one's security deposit returned will motivate a person (me) to preform otherwise unknown feats of cleaning.
-Chel

Those must be fake

While stopped at the red light on my way to work this morning I see this girl jogging in teenie tiny shorts and a tube top. I'm all like WTF? Who jogs in a freakin' tube top? How is that even possible?
-Chel

Movin’ on up!

When I was looking at apartments on Sunday I learned that one I was considering has a smart card reader for the laundry. You add value to the smart card from your ATM/credit card and then the washer or dryer deducts the charge from the smart card. What a brilliant idea! No more hunting through the couch, chair, car seat, various drawers, pockets and hiding places looking for that one last elusive quarter so you can dry the last load of towels. The laundry also has a giant folding table and a huge picture window with views. A laundry room that’s not in the spider infested/homeless person livin’ basement and I don’t need quarters. I’ll take it.

Oh, the new place has tons of other great stuff too – 4 swimming pools, spa, gym, 3 tennis courts, dry cleaner. Did I mention I have a view of the marina from my freakin’ patio! I'm so freakin' excited!

Note to self

Using that pot of lip balm that’s been in the back of your drawer at work for 2+ years and smells only a little funny is probably not a good idea. I’m just saying.
-Chel

Breakfast of Champions

This morning I'm out watering my plants the sun is barely up and someone in my building is smoking a bowl. Hello! It is 6:30 in the freakin' am. *inhales deeply* Contact high?
-Chel

What are you going to do with that?

This weekend I went to Target with my embodied inner conscience. Let me just tell you I passed up very cute dish towels (I'm a complete SUCKER for dish towels), cat toys, picture frames, cosmetics, junk food, I didn't even bat an eye at the clothing. All because of the dreaded "Chel, What are you going to do with that?" I did buy one completely frivolous item, a fabulous lime green fabric cube that pops out for storage. I answered the dreaded "What are you going to do with that" question with a "Did you see that pile of magazines on the floor in my living room?" Of course if my embodied inner conscience would have been a little quicker on her feet she would have come back with "Maybe it's time to toss the pile o' magazines." Good times.
-Chel

At the Hollywood Farmers' Market

You can buy sweet peas, avacados, white grapefruit and tangerines. You can also donate a dollar to help transgendered persons with sexual reassignment. I gave two.
-Chel

You say homebody like that's a bad thing

This morning I woke up at 6am. I lay in bed until 6:30 trying to go back to sleep. I couldn't so I got up and did 5 loads of laundry. It was crazy! I was vacuuming by 8am. What is going on? I have never been a morning person. Dolly can attest to that. I don't even speak in the morning.

Jess and I made it to David's Bridal by noon. I tried on the dress. And we got the hell out of there and went for margaritas. No offense but that is just not the type of wedding I want. All that freakin' hype and stress. You can have it. If I get married I want to be barefoot on a beach in Hawaii. :)

Sweet Nectar of the Gods

I went out to get a lemonade. It is so warm and sunny here. It is just unbelievably beautiful today. There are about a billion people out on the Promenade sunning themselves like big fat lizards on a rock.

I managed to talk Jess into going to David’s Bridal with me tomorrow to look at bridesmaid dresses. I promised her margaritas afterwards. HA! I will need the margaritas! Every time I get within a 100 yards of David’s Bridal I break out into hives.
-Chel