Monday's Post

It has been raining all weekend. It is truly beautiful. I'm sitting in the living room watching heavy rain fall and listening to the thunder. The rain fascinates me. The way it comes slanting down out of the sky. It seems to come from no where.

My neighbor who has been living next door for months finally had a bed delivered, today, of all days. They just brought it. Up until today his apartment has consisted of a pile of stuff in the middle of the living room floor. My girlfriend is infatuated with this man who lives next door. Whom we've never met. The man she has created is a figment of her imagination.

Sometimes I think that was part of my problem with The Boy. I made up his side of the relationship. In his silence I filled in his side of the story. That's why I was so shocked that he would cheat on me. But then I guess I didn't really know him and I still don't.

A lot of stuff has been going on lately. Mainly I'm just freaking out about work. It is an irrational freak out. This happens to me sometimes. I begin to feel like I'm suffocating. I feel overwhelmed and that everything is out of control. I know that everything will be ok and I just need to take a deep breath and break it down into manageable bits. But I forget.
-Chel