A*Hole's Dating Guide

And now Valentine's Day tips from the A*Hole I had this recent exchange with.

A*Hole: Good Lord, what happened to you?
Me: What? Oh, I don’t have any make up on.
A*Hole: To use my grandfather’s expression you look like 10 miles of bad road.
Me: …

A*Hole's Valentine's Day Tips.
The thing to do, it seems, is to go to a bar in the evening on Valentine's Day and look for the women who have been sitting in their offices all day watching all their colleagues get flowers and candy and cards, but who didn't get any themselves - they have low self-esteem, so guys should hit on them. And it's best to do this around 8:00 in the evening, because you have a better chance of catching some kinda good-looking women. If you wait until 10:00pm, you just get the heavyset women....

There. Are. No. Words.