Summer

Summer is almost over. I'm glad to see it go. It was a difficult summer for me. I was sick for the last 6 weeks and wound up in the ER twice. The last time Dolly was here on vacation and had to drag me to the ER. I was not a very cooperative patient.

I had the final doctor visit today where all my tests came back negative. Which is good. That's what we wanted. All he can say is we'll see. It's scary when they say we don't know what's wrong. I have little faith in doctors. I mean they are human and fallible. I did my own research and felt pretty sure I didn't have Crohn's Disease which is what this doctor was almost certain was wrong with me. And today the test results were negative. But there is still no diagnosis. Nothing that he will say that was wrong with me at least not for certain. I'm just better.

Then the worst part of the summer two weeks ago a very good friend's son was killed in a motorcycle accident. He had just turned 24 the week before. The news is so heart wrenchingly devastating that there are no words. There's nothing you can do to ease that pain. No words of comfort. No help. I think about her every morning and say a prayer that she find strength for the day. Her life is completely changed. How does one get up in the morning? And go on each day doing the necessary mundane things one has to do? The grief is so all encompassing nothing else matters. I envy those who believe in God and an afterlife, who find comfort in faith. People keep asking me how she is. What do you say? She's devastated beyond belief. I wish her peace. This is that nightmare you never wake up from. I wish her peace and the strength to go on.

-Chel